Golden Wii will come in handy for royal Golden Girl

Her Majesty the Queen has been a bit busy lately.

In the space of a week she’s been coo-ing over her new great granddaughter, congratulating David Cameron on a second term as Prime Minister, and commemorating the 70th anniversary of the end of the war in Europe with VE Day celebrations.

That woman needs a cup of tea and a sit down.

In fact Queen Elizabeth II, who turned 89 in April, probably ought to slow things down on the work front generally.




Last year, she attended 375 official engagements in the UK and 18 overseas.


Not many soon-to-be nonagenarians could keep up that pace. In September, Her Majesty will become the joint longest reigning British monarch by matching Queen Victoria’s epic rule of 63 years and seven months.

She has seen 12 Prime Ministers come and go, had her portrait painted 139 times, hosted close to 100 state banquets, opened 15 bridges and owned more than 30 corgis.

It’s fair to say she’s more than earned the right to take things a bit easier.

But this is not the kind of woman who’ll readily give in to a more sedate life or move to a retirement complex in Florida.

Even in her dotage, she’s an active woman who strides out on country walks, enjoys a spot of grouse shooting and isn’t afraid to voice her opinion.

So how will she fill her day when her diary looks woefully empty? Chances are she’ll resist the lure of daytime TV (like below) and, instead, turn her attention to more exciting indoor activities.


The Queen may look a bit stuffy in her head scarf and tweed skirts, but she prides herself on keeping up with modern life.

She sent her first email in 1976 and launched a website for Buckingham Palace in 1997. She watches TV just like the rest of us and is said to be keen on Brit soap Coronation Street, Dr Who and various detective dramas.

She’s also a game player. In 2007, Kate Middleton bought Prince William a Nintendo Wii for Christmas. The story goes that The Queen couldn’t help but muscle in and get in on the action.

In May 2009, games publisher THQ, exploited that nugget of information and produced one of the most ingenious PR stunts of the day.

The company was launching its new BIG Family Games and recognised that there was no bigger or more important family than a royal one.



So, the company sent a mock butler round to Buckingham Palace with the gift of a new console and a copy of the newly launched game for The Queen to play with her kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews and anyone else who was vaguely in line to throne.

But here’s the twist, this was a console befitting a Monarch. A Royal Wii if you will.

It was swathed in gold and gleamed brighter than the blingiest bling. It caused quite a splash with the gaming media.

Whether Her Majesty declared “Wii are amused” is open to speculation.

And if you feel the need to keep up with the Windsors, you could get your own console gold dipped.

There’s no reason to assume The Queen’s Wii has been gathering dust in a royal attic somewhere, but if it has there’s no better time for her to blow off the cobwebs and get to grips with the remote.

The Queen is a keen follower of sport so perhaps she could start with a quintessentially English game of virtual cricket.

Cricket Challenge is a gentle, arcade-style game that puts the player in control as batsman. But it’s set against an urban backdrop with lots of buildings and apartment blocks in the background – hardly the village green and hardly The Queen’s cup of tea.

She attended Lord’s in 2013 for the Ashes series so a step up to an international level of cricket may be more up her street.

The less said about the cancelled 2013 version of Ashes Cricket the better, but the original 2009 offering might still knock her for six.

As well as teaching Her Majesty the rudiments of the game, she might get a kick out of virtually touring some of the world’s most famous clubhouses.

Here in the real world, the Australians will be defending the Ashes in England this July. The Queen, who is known to enjoy a flutter, will no doubt be backing the home team even though England’s chances of winning are less than nil. But to bet on the Aussies is simply not cricket.

Anyone who’s played Wii games knows how addictive they can be and it won’t be long before The Queen is going to realise her golden console is in dire need of an upgrade.


It’s all very well whacking a few cricket balls, smashing a few volleys on the tennis court or knocking over lots of pins in a virtual bowling alley, but what The Queen really needs is interaction.

With WiiU Sports Club she can access online multiplayer mode and team up with her family all over the country.

So, if The Queen and Prince Philip are holed up in their castle at Sandringham and Prince William’s having a night in with Kate and the kids at Kensington Palace, they can still hook up and take each other on in a massive sports tournament in pursuit of the ultimate Wii crown.

Even better would be Wii Sports Resort.

As The Queen’s workload is alleviated, it’s less likely she’ll be jetting off around the world on official visits and she might well miss the sights and sounds of being abroad.

Touching down on the imaginary Wuhu Island, might be a welcome alternative to the deerstalking and scrabble she’s usually exposed to when she retreats to the sanctuary of her Scottish castle.

She’d particularly like the challenge of archery and would almost certainly become a master marksman in double quick time. Sword fighting will bring out her inner fencing persona while the canoe games might remind her of sailing the seven seas on her royal yacht Britannia.

But the chance to unleash the adrenaline junkie inside her may be too tantalising to resist.

What’s the betting she’ll take to power cruising like a duck to water? She’ll swoop through the clouds like a veteran stunt pilot and she’ll totally forget her 90-year-old body as she jumps and twists like a professional wake-boarder a quarter of her age.

Wuhu won’t know what’s hit it.

Whatever The Queen decides to do as she enters the twilight of her years, it’s certain that she’ll do it with gusto.

This is the woman who, as an innocent 19-year-old princess, took secretly to the streets of London to celebrate the end of the Second World War. She danced and sang and kicked up her heels with thousands of other jubilant men and women.

That night was so spectacularly unconventional that they’ve even made a film about it. A Royal Night Out is in cinemas this month and paints a portrait of a woman who is highly unlikely to retreat from the excitement of her life no matter how old she is.

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